A very important part of the work of YoungMinds is the support it provides to the parents of children and young people with mental health issues.  One of the often forgotten aspects of any illness is the situation of the carers whose own lives are impacted by the responsibility that they take on in looking after someone else.

In our two-part interview last week, Lupen Crook mentioned his partner, Sam.  She was the person who first suggested that the band should lend its support to a charitable cause.  With the EP now released, I was interested to get her perspective on the project, as well as her relationship with Mr Crook and his musical output in general.

As Lupen Crook’s partner of several years, what’s it like being involved both emotionally and domestically with someone with schizoaffective disorder?

I always think of it as living in a shadow. My life is dictated by an overpowering force I cannot control, touch or see. Some days are amazing, some are bearable and some are sheer moments of hell. It is hard to know what day to expect, how long it will last and whether we will both come out of it together. Emotionally it is a battle we will never win, which is made more difficult by the fact we were never aware we were even signing up to it. Nonetheless, he’s my best friend, child, husband and enemy all rolled into one. With that combination, why would I ever give up? I guess the answer is that it is bloody hard work.

Mr Crook’s lyrics are brutally honest, if sometimes tangentially expressed.  How do you feel about the songs that cover you and/or your relationship?

They are the things he can never say in ‘real’ life, which makes me sad but it gives me the chance to understand his thoughts for that moment of time. I have to appreciate some people never get that insight, whether their partner is mentally ill or not.  However, there are some songs I will never voluntarily listen to. I would rather not be reminded of some of the events that have happened, let alone having all my friends and family listening to them too. On the other hand it’s quite nice having a running record of my life.

You were the inspiration behind the band getting involved with YoungMinds.  Why did you think their involvement in this type of cause was important?

Because of the misconception of young people and artists: if a young person is mentally ill, they’re attention seeking; if an artist, he’s an alcoholic or drug addict. I am supportive of third world charities etc, but I also think what of your child sitting in their bedroom slicing themselves with a pair of scissors while you absently cook dinner? What of your friend who cries themself to sleep, sure the devil is stalking them? What of a neighbour too scared to leave the house and you just call them anti-social and “weird”? What of those people? If you have a voice, use it, and under the circumstances there is no better voice than Lupen.

What’s your advice for anyone living with, caring for or otherwise supporting a friend, family member or loved one with mental health issues?

Do not judge, as no one knows the judgment of God. I cannot really offer any advice apart from that, but also to take one day at a time and never forget about your own life. The brain can be a strong and wonderful tool, but it can also be fragile. Make sure you take care of yourself too.

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The band has chosen to direct any EP-related donations made by fans towards the YoungMinds parents’ helpline service.  We’ll be telling you more about this service on the website next week.

You can download the Curse Of The Mirror Wicked EP here.